RESTART

I honestly don't know what im writing right now. I forgot I had this so im gonna start using it again cause fucking why not. No ones gonna see it anyways so its ok. Im not usually the type to express my stuff online like this but like i said no ones gonna see so its all g. I remember i wrote on little pieces of paper and put it all in a box but now im just too lazy.

I have a feeling this isnt gonna last long either because anything i do never lasts cause i cant be fucked and that i give up on everything too easily. Whatever i do always ends up being given up on.

Im writing anything that comes into my head right now and, right now, i just want to be left alone. Can my dad stop bothering right now?! I finished my english assessment - well in a way - and im so tired and done with everything. Ive realised i dont do anything productive in my life besides going on the internet or doing homework, but thats rare.

Ive found a guy i really like and he makes so fucking happy and hes so fucking cute i cant deal. I never thought id actually hold hands with someone,  go on a date with them, play with their hair and just lean on their shoulder but i can do that with him and im just so fucking happy i can. If he ever sees this im so gone, ill be so embarrassed which should mean i shouldnt do it if that does happen but i cant help myself. Writing by hand is so tiring.

If i were to describe him i would say he has really pretty eyes. Ive always wanted to tell him that but can never bring myself to it. He makes me smile every time i see him or just think about him. Even now. His hands are always warm which makes me feel warm because mine are always so cold. When we talks about stuff i dont care about its ok because its him. Besides, i really like his voice. I told im before but i dont think he understands how much i really like listening to his voice. Its just, nice. Ive only known him for a few months but i would never expect something like this to happen. Hes such a dumbass with a stupid twitter picture but its ok cause hes a cute dumbass. He can be lame but what am i saying - im more lame than him haha. Everytime i see the girl that likes him i feel so sad inside but then i tell myself i shouldnt because even though we were friends she was the one that ruined it - not me. I have more to say but ill keep it for later.